I once had a conversation with an exec at a company where I was also an IT exec. He told me they based their sales projections on metrics that were always wrong. I asked why he used them when he knew they had no predictive value and he replied - "It's the only metric we have." To which I replied - "So, if you're going to Cleveland and the only map you have is of Florida, you'd use that too?"

Arguing that someone needs to articulate an alternative when they point out the lunacy of your current approach misses the point completely. Any methodology is better than the twisted Agile process as it is understood and practiced today. Bake the tasks in a fortune cookie and dole them out at lunch...the descriptions might be better than some of the "user stories" I've read.